Isn’t there something in remembering? When a song comes on that reminds you of the best night of your life. Or when you hug someone who wears the same perfume as your mother. Your senses react and often in a way that you haven’t experienced for a long time. These triggers can tug at the most deeply cemented of heart strings. Walking through the streets of Lakeview in Chicago. It felt like I had never left. I could feel the emotions that I had when I first arrived, the worries that ran through my brain as I walked to the same ole coffee shop in the morning, or the deep deep love I had for the people of that community, the people I couldn’t do enough for, the ones who no matter what I thought they needed, continually surprised me and revealed that I had no clue all along.
The only thing that was different, was me. I have changed more than I could have ever expected. I’m married now and so so in love. I’m pretty liberally minded which I never thought would happen. I am driven and committed. I am more of a girl than I ever wanted to be friends with back then and I’m just plain grown up. You start to wonder if you’re changing for the better or for the worse. I don’t know how I’m doing overall. But, I will say that I could learn a lot from my 20 year old self and there’s a lot that I could teach her. So, for now, I’ll try to never stop growing, to ache for the lonely and mistreated, and to always remember that 20 year old girl, who was so excited to be in the city.
with love and memories,